ASMR for AB/DL’s

Howdy! Hope you’re good? I’m not going to apologise for the length of time it’s taken me to write a post this time. I’m starting to accept that it just take ages to motivate myself. I don’t have a huge amount of followers and I’m not sure how often people (who don’t have WordPress) actually visit me here, so I’m fairly content with the rate at which I post. However, if I were to suddenly get flooded with comments/likes and emails telling me “Peter, you are the Hemingway of AB/DL bloggers” then I’ll probably start writing a little more regularly 😉 haha.

AAAAAAaaaanyway… I’ve had serious writers block recently, probably due to the fact that I’ve not been having much little time (as you may have read in my past couple of posts) because sadly I’ve just not been feeling very babyish. But I feel that things are taking a turn for the better because I’ve started feeling little again recently and have been having some little time when I get the chance.

I’ve purchased some cases of nappies that I’ve never worn before (ABU Cushies and SDK’s) and love them! Out of all the nappies I’ve tried, I have to say that nothing beat’s an ABU nappy. I’ve also just purchased a case of  LittlePawz which I’m really looking forward to trying on, they look unbelievably cute so I’m sure I’ll love them.  (If you live in the UK and want to get hold of an ABU nappy but don’t want to pay seriously high shipping costs, you can get them at Nappiesrus for much cheaper/faster shipping)

Moving swiftly along…

I’d like to talk about something I’ve become fairly obsessed with over the past few months: ASMR. Maybe you’ve heard of it? or maybe not? This is something I was introduced to a couple of years ago by a friend who swore by it at the time. After he explained it to me I didn’t really think about it again for a few months because quite honestly, I didn’t really know what the hell he was talking about. But a few months later I stumbled across an ASMR video on youtube and was immediately hooked.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, you can read about ‘ASMR’ here or watch a short video on it here. It’s basically recorded binaural sounds which give you very relaxing brain tingles due to the intensity of the sounds which are recorded. Example: Did you ever watch Joy of Painting  and ask yourself “Why do I love this show so much?”, if so then the answer was probably because Bob Ross is the most relaxing man in the universe and he may have even given you slight ASMR tingles… (Okay perhaps that’s a bad example :/) )

Anyhow, as I’ve previously talked about, I’ve found it difficult feeling little recently and this has party been due to the amount I’ve been working and my awkward shift patterns. My job is fast paced and usually pretty stressful. I work long hours and usually get home pretty late and when I *do* get home, my head is spinning, I’m tired, dirty and probably have a mild headache. This is typical of my job so it’s important to relax, unwind, vent if I need to and mentally prepare myself for the next day.

If I’ve been at work for 13+ hours, I tend to find it quite difficult to get into my little space when I get home so for this reason I won’t usually have any little time on a ‘school night’. I’m also just not in the mood because I like to catch up with my girlfriend and talk about our day.

Having said that, when I get home I do also try to unwind as quickly as possible so I can get to sleep easier, I really dislike like going to bed with thoughts of the day running through my head so I may take a bath, drink a beer, listen to a record, or just sit in silence and get my ‘thinking’ out of the way.

What I really enjoy though, is once I get into bed, listening to an ASMR video. I find them incredibly relaxing and usually I’ll drift off straight away. It’s also been really good in getting me into my little head space..

You get all sorts of ASMR videos because everybody have different triggers. Some videos focus on one word being repeated over and over again, others are just tapping sounds, and some are a combination. You even see various role play videos which are equally relaxing. The concept may sound a bit unusual and even a little strange at first but I’d highly recommend giving ASMR a try if you like to relax. If you’re a regular reader of my blog then I’m sure you must be an open minded person! haha

Lately I’ve stumbled across ASMR “Mother” role play videos which are twice as effective in helping me relax and luckily it’s a big “tingle trigger” for me. I was reading on adisc.org a while ago that some AB/DL’s like to fall asleep listening to recordings of bedtime stories or lullabies. Not surprisingly, you can find ASMR videos which contain this. I really enjoy watching an ASMR video like this because not only do I find it very relaxing, It also helps me feel little, so sometimes I like to suck on my dummy and fall asleep feeling little as well as incredibly relaxed.

I feel as though a lot of AB/DL’s probably have a heightened sense of sound/smell/touch because we tend to love things like the crinkle sound a nappy makes, or the lovely smell of talcum power, or the feel of a plushy etc. So I’m sure any AB/DL’s reading this will appreciate these videos for that reason alone. However, not everybody feels the ASMR “tingles” so I suppose that if you’re an AB/DL who doesn’t have a mummy or a daddy then this may also be good to watch just when you want some little time.

NOTE: Headphones strongly recommended!

Thanks for reading,

Little peter rabbit x

Nursery times.

Hey there little ones. Glad to be back!

Adult life has completely taken over for the past few months so my blog posts have been none existent. I’ll try not to talk *too* much about my adult life (because who goes to an AB/DL blog to read about that??) but there hasn’t been a great deal going on in my world as a little due to the grown up stuff..

Remember how I mentioned in a previous post that we’ve been working on moving house? Well that’s been the thing that’s consumed most of our time at the moment which means there hasn’t been much little time. But that’s OK because the good news is we’ve bought a lovely house in the countryside! It’s just what we’ve been looking for and we’re in the process of all the boring grown up stuff. If all goes to plan, which typically it doesn’t, we’ll be able to move in this summer!! Wooo!! It’s a lovely little cottage with a cosy feel to it (perfect for snuggling up), a huge garden to play in, and best of all..it’s right in the countryside so there’ll hopefully be lots of outings with Mummy.

It’s got everything we were looking for in a house.. well, almost. There’s just one thing which it doesn’t have. Something I really wanted which I never told Mummy.. Something every AB/DL dreams of having… A nursery!!!

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(image taken from google)

Well… of course it doesn’t have a nursery.. Maybe about 0.000001% of all houses in England have an *adult* nursery. But what I actually mean is that: I would have loved an extra room with potential to be transformed into a nursery space/play room. That was something which I never really discussed with my girlfriend when we were looking for a house… after all, it seems like a pretty stupid thing to consider when buying a house: “Yup, this is perfect… there’s a bit of a deal breaker though”. Part of me wanted to bring it up, but my logical adult side prevented me from doing so.. If I’m honest, I just didn’t want my girlfriend to think that I’m getting too obsessed with this whole AB/DL thing. She’s been so supportive over the past few years and has taken a genuine interest in incorporating a Mummy/baby aspect into our relationship.. all because she loves me. And now we’re buying a house together I’ve been thinking about us as a couple and not as a mother/child (duh!)

I suppose it’s an idea which I have always have a divided opinion on. On one hand, a nursery would be an absolute dream come true. It would be a place I could go to be myself and say goodbye to the world for a short while. But on the other hand, it pains me to say that it may be something that could potentially just ‘get in the way’. What I mean by that is, it would kind of be like a painter saying “I love painting so Im going to turn my living room into an art studio”.. sure some painters would do that. But I’m sure the majority would prefer more to have a living room and just get their paints out from time to time (I understand that was a crap analogy, but you get my way of thinking)

When we were originally house hunting I’d had it in the back of my mind that I’d love to have a nursery. I’ve always dreamt of turning a spare room into a little space complete with crib/changing table/play pen etc, this is something pretty much all Little’s dream of isn’t it? But it would be pretty difficult to have that in this house, which has disheartened me somewhat. And then again I’m sure it would be a difficult thing to do in any house when you bring other things into it. There’s a couple of examples that come to mind…

Having visitors over

Friend/family: Can I have a tour of your house?
Me: “Sure, there’s just one room you can’t go into”
Friend/family: “Why ever not?”
Me: *explodes*

(I think that scenario speaks for itself)

Conflict of interest

As I said earlier, my girlfriend has been extremely supportive over the past couple of years, and I think it would be unfair to buy a house together and insist on turning the one spare room we have into a nursery. Keep in mind that a nursery is something I want, but not something that we both need.. and lets face fact, if it wasn’t for my needs/interests, I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t have developed an interest in being an AB Mummy all by herself.. let alone turning parts of her house into a room that would accommodate that. Don’t get me wrong, I know that she enjoys out Mummy/baby dynamic, but I’m sure she’s not *that* into it.

In addition to this, we do both have other hobbies, real hobbies such as arts/crafts/music etc, and to compromise a place to do all that I think would be a bit of a no no.

Practicality

Lets just say for arguments sake, that my girlfriend said “Hey, I think it’d be awesome if we had a nursery space” (wow, it felt good just typing that). Would it really work? Absolutely.. well for some full immersion AB/DLs… But for some, it might just not be practical. I’m thinking of things like time, cost & effort weighed up against things such as the amount it would get used, the space it would take up, what else the room could be used for etc.

But having said all that, I can’t help but be a big kid about the whole thing and just think “I don’t care, I want a nurseryyyy!!” haha :p. Go figure. I’ve hinted at the idea of buying/building a highchair, maybe we’ll start with that 🙂

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Bye for now 🙂

Little Peter.

Where has my little gone?

Hey there 🙂

Sadly this blog post isn’t about what I’d hoped it would be. In my last post I talked about not feeling very little recently due to a lot of stress and anxiety which had been building up over the past few months (since christmas really) and I said that I hoped my next post was not going to focus on my adult self, but more on my little side a.k.a Little Peter Rabbit. But it really pains me to say that things haven’t changed much since my last post.

I haven’t had much little time at all over the past month (in addition to the 3 months prior to that). I’ve spent time being little maybe once or twice on my own while my girlfriend has been at work, but as far as spending time with Mummy goes, it’s been a long time. I know my Mummy loves me and she enjoys having little time together (maybe not quite) as much as I do, but I can’t help but feel things are fading a little bit between Mummy and me. The less little time we have the more awkward I feel about bringing it up or initiating it. Not because I feel ashamed like I once did (Thankfully I feel I’ve moved past the shame stage) but because I get the vibe that Mummy has needed a bit of a break from it too. We’ve both just had a lot on recently – I’ve been working shifts which means we haven’t had a consistent amount of time together, Mummy has been focusing on some of her own things (Craft fairs, sporting events, and her job), and on top of that we’ve both been looking at houses because we’ve decided to move! (Yay for us :D).

Parts of that last paragraph seemed a bit grim but I don’t in any way mean to imply that we’re not happy, because I have to say that I don’t think I’ve ever been happier and I’m sure my girlfriend feels the same way. But having so much “adult stuff” going on at the moment means I’m left with a huge hole in my life which is, yep you guessed it, “the little stuff”. I can’t pin point the exact reason why I recently haven’t felt as thought I’ve needed/desired/craved little time. But I can say that I completely miss it and feel like there’s something big missing in my life at the moment.

Maybe this means that I’ve finally come to accept this part of myself and subsequently it no longer has the hold over me which it once did? Maybe I no longer *need* little time and it’s just a casual part of my life which I can indulge in whenever I feel? In the past I would try to go as long as I could without having little time but the urge would build and build and I’d eventually buckle and end up buying some nappies and over indulge in little time (binge/purge), but now it’s like I’m not even suppressing it. I guess on the surface I’m just a bit indifferent at the moment.

This brings up a question which I’d like to present to any AB/DL or LG/LB etc reading this. Taking into account a lot of the negative feelings that can go along with being AB/DL (especially when you’re younger) such as feeling ashamed, fearful, embarrassed, lonely, mocked, neglected, rejected, and taking into account how hard it can be opening up to others about this – if you could take away your Little and be a “normal” adult with no deep dark secret, would you? (be honest).

I mean, that’s what I’d always wished for, right? The ability to have some control over myself? Isn’t that what a lot of closet AB/DLs hope for? (stop me if I’m wrong)… I’ve always felt extremely ashamed of myself and hated my little side for ruining my chances of being “normal” So surely going for four months without “feeling like it” is a good thing? right?.. If this is what it feels like to be “normal” and progress I have to say it’s not what it’s cracked up to be. To be quite honest, it’s a bummer.

**Fun fact: Four months is the longest I’ve ever went without the urge to regress**

I don’t know if this is down to us having hectic lives at the moment, or down to me moving further down the road to “self acceptance”, or both. But I feel a strong sense of being in limbo at the moment. Life’s came to a sudden halt. It’s like I’ve become an adult. Ew gross!.

Having said all this, the good thing is that I *do* feel deep down, that my love for all things AB/DL will never fade and I will always be a little. I adore thinking about the feeling of Mummy putting my dummy in my mouth and telling me to “hush” while she changes me into a dry nappy. But the gaps between daydreams seems to be getting bigger each time. Mummy hasn’t really mentioned our lack of little time together either, which makes me wonder what her opinion is, is she happy to have the break? does she miss it? Maybe it’s time for a chat 🙂

I will say again that I hope my next post is much more positive and makes for a much more enjoyable read!

Hope you are all well 🙂

Little Peter Rabbit x

Sorry for that downer! Aside from that, things really couldn’t be better. Works going great, the days are getting sunnier, we’re looking at lots of lovely houses to potentially purchase, and we’ve got lots of lovely things planned for the remainder of the year! Woo wooooo! 

Stress.

Heyheyhey. Hope you’re all doing wellwellwell?

Apologies for not posting in a while.. but lets just say things have been a little crazy recently (shyeah.. *cut* to me watching Netflix till 3am with pizza all over my face). In all serious, the adult in me has had to take the wheel for the past month and Baby Peter has went into hiding.

There have been some family issues recently which meant that I had to visit my parents for a couple of weeks to help out. I never really like to visit my family unless absolutely necessary, and such was the case this time. My family have always had problems which I try not to be apart of.. but they’re very good at roping me back in no matter how much I try to pull away. The truth is that they need me more than I need them. I realise that last sentence may sound a bit selfish and insensitive, but I’ve never been a family orientated person so I try to keep my distance (Try to visit every christmas for a couple of days). Don’t get me wrong, I love them and constantly worry about them when things are bad… but they drive me up the f*cking wall hahah.

So anyway, when I got back from visiting them things immediately got hectic at work which added extra stress and anxiety, so I have ended up neglecting myself and my girlfriend (a.k.a Mummy) lately. Now things have started to calm down a bit I’ve finally been able to catch up on my own things (i.e. Netflix and Pizza) and the little time is still taking a back seat. When I say the little time is taking a back seat I don’t want to give off the impression that I have a great deal of choice about when I feel little. Because I don’t really. I’m a little at heart and therefore I’m *always* feeling little in someway or another. But it’s just that I’ve had too much on my plate and not enough time to indulge in the little things such as nappies and story times. I  kinda feel like I’m going through an involuntary purge. Which sucks.

I’ve felt really stressed out these past two months and I’ve had a lot of negativity and anxiety circling around my head concerning a lot of things.. but I’ve just pushed it all to the back of my mind and battled on without trying to think too much about things, which is good for me because I’m normally a massive over-thinker. This is the reason why I’ve had next to no little time in the past 6 or so weeks (I can’t believe it’s really been that long??). I’ve never thought of myself as a person who uses regression as a means to deal with stress and adult problems and forget about everything, quite the contrary actually..When I’ve got a lot of things on my mind, my little tends to disappear and I use other ways to ‘escape’ and I end up avoiding everything that concerns ‘me’. It’s quite simple for me: There’s a little boy inside of me who has always been there with or without stress/worry/anxiety/etc. Perhaps the stresses I went through as a child was how my little originally manifested, but its definitely not what keeps him there. In fact, I prefer little time when I’m feeling happy and have less on my plate so I can get into my little space easier and not have to try and ‘forget’ about things.

It really does pain me to say this, but I haven’t missed the little time over the past 6 weeks. I’ve been feeling just a bit too low and I’ve needed a break from it all. I’ve had too many things to sort out in my head and I think Little Peter Rabbit is well aware of that so he’s giving me a break. I’ve needed the time to be a grown up. Which is healthy I think.

But as I said, things have calmed down and I feel like I’m starting to feel like myself again, so I’m 99% sure that my next post will be about something much funner than boring adult stuff. I’m looking very forward to the next time I get to have some little time, sure it won’t be long.. Perhaps I’ll post up a photo of me and my new onesie? Which reminds me… You might notice I’ve got a new page on my blog called “Gallery”.. I had some photo’s that I uploaded of me in my new Crinklz, I’ve password protected the page for now (which renders the page useless) because I wasn’t sure whether or not it was too creepy.. so figured I’d ask what any readers think?

Bye bye for now now.

Little Peter Rabbit x

 

 

GUEST POST: Mummy’s thoughts.

Hello little ones,

It’s Peter Rabbit’s mummy here.
Peter and I have been very busy lately, but we’ve just enjoyed a lovely few days together where we have been able to reconnect and have some special time.
For Christmas I bought Peter some long pajamas with toys printed on them. Unfortunately they were much too baggy for him, even with his nappy on. Luckily a family friend is a seamstress, so we were able to send the pajamas to her to take in.
Luckily it didn’t take her too long. Peter loved his pajamas and couldn’t understand why mummy was taking them away!
When they arrived back I was so happy to see that they were now a perfect fit, and perfect for Peter to wear in the colder weather.
He also has some lovely new socks with bears on to keep his feet warm when he’s playing and snuggling up with mummy.

Today, some lovely new nappies arrived in the post- I can’t wait to try them on Peter. I do hope that they fit him and keep him snug and clean. He is a typical little boy who loves to jump about and make a mess.
Mummy often has to tidy up after Peter and make sure there are no objects around that he could hurt himself with. He definitely keeps me on my toes 🙂

I’ve recently been thinking that I’d like to do something nice for Peter, a little surprise that I know he will love (he loves surprises!).

Watch this space and all will be revealed…

Mummy 🙂