Heyheyhey. Hope you’re all doing wellwellwell?
Apologies for not posting in a while.. but lets just say things have been a little crazy recently (shyeah.. *cut* to me watching Netflix till 3am with pizza all over my face). In all serious, the adult in me has had to take the wheel for the past month and Baby Peter has went into hiding.
There have been some family issues recently which meant that I had to visit my parents for a couple of weeks to help out. I never really like to visit my family unless absolutely necessary, and such was the case this time. My family have always had problems which I try not to be apart of.. but they’re very good at roping me back in no matter how much I try to pull away. The truth is that they need me more than I need them. I realise that last sentence may sound a bit selfish and insensitive, but I’ve never been a family orientated person so I try to keep my distance (Try to visit every christmas for a couple of days). Don’t get me wrong, I love them and constantly worry about them when things are bad… but they drive me up the f*cking wall hahah.
So anyway, when I got back from visiting them things immediately got hectic at work which added extra stress and anxiety, so I have ended up neglecting myself and my girlfriend (a.k.a Mummy) lately. Now things have started to calm down a bit I’ve finally been able to catch up on my own things (i.e. Netflix and Pizza) and the little time is still taking a back seat. When I say the little time is taking a back seat I don’t want to give off the impression that I have a great deal of choice about when I feel little. Because I don’t really. I’m a little at heart and therefore I’m *always* feeling little in someway or another. But it’s just that I’ve had too much on my plate and not enough time to indulge in the little things such as nappies and story times. I kinda feel like I’m going through an involuntary purge. Which sucks.
I’ve felt really stressed out these past two months and I’ve had a lot of negativity and anxiety circling around my head concerning a lot of things.. but I’ve just pushed it all to the back of my mind and battled on without trying to think too much about things, which is good for me because I’m normally a massive over-thinker. This is the reason why I’ve had next to no little time in the past 6 or so weeks (I can’t believe it’s really been that long??). I’ve never thought of myself as a person who uses regression as a means to deal with stress and adult problems and forget about everything, quite the contrary actually..When I’ve got a lot of things on my mind, my little tends to disappear and I use other ways to ‘escape’ and I end up avoiding everything that concerns ‘me’. It’s quite simple for me: There’s a little boy inside of me who has always been there with or without stress/worry/anxiety/etc. Perhaps the stresses I went through as a child was how my little originally manifested, but its definitely not what keeps him there. In fact, I prefer little time when I’m feeling happy and have less on my plate so I can get into my little space easier and not have to try and ‘forget’ about things.
It really does pain me to say this, but I haven’t missed the little time over the past 6 weeks. I’ve been feeling just a bit too low and I’ve needed a break from it all. I’ve had too many things to sort out in my head and I think Little Peter Rabbit is well aware of that so he’s giving me a break. I’ve needed the time to be a grown up. Which is healthy I think.
But as I said, things have calmed down and I feel like I’m starting to feel like myself again, so I’m 99% sure that my next post will be about something much funner than boring adult stuff. I’m looking very forward to the next time I get to have some little time, sure it won’t be long.. Perhaps I’ll post up a photo of me and my new onesie? Which reminds me… You might notice I’ve got a new page on my blog called “Gallery”.. I had some photo’s that I uploaded of me in my new Crinklz, I’ve password protected the page for now (which renders the page useless) because I wasn’t sure whether or not it was too creepy.. so figured I’d ask what any readers think?
Bye bye for now now.
Little Peter Rabbit x