Wow, what a year it’s been!
To the few people who read my blog: Sorry I did not post in December! This is because things were very busy for the both of us throughout Christmas. We’ve visited both of our families at opposite sides of England, we’ve had family come stay with us, we’ve spent time with friends here in the North, we’ve been on holiday in Wales and have been busy planning a holiday for later this year. To top it off, we have still been very busy at work! So here’s hoping January is going to be chill. I’m happy with the way the year has ended for us though. On New Year’s Eve we sat together with a bottle of fizz and spoke about all the things we’ve accomplished this year (I know, I know, that’s the biggest cliche in the world). Not surprisingly, one of the biggest things on our list was how far we’ve come as Mummy and Baby!
This year has presented a very wild ride for Mummy and me. Just under 2 years ago I first told my girlfriend that I had a secret. It was really difficult me to explain, which made it even harder for her to understand. But we got through it and slowly moved forward. It’s hard to say *how* we moved forward as we were both very confused about it all. She didn’t know what it all meant or how it would affect our relationship, whereas I found it hard to make sense of my feelings and was afraid of how her view of me would change if I was completely honest with her. It was all a bit of a mess but we managed to get by.
2014 was definitely the hardest year for us (What with the first nappy change n’ all), but it was the most important because we got over the initial awkwardness. Firstly we managed to get “this thing” out in the open which was probably the hardest step there was. It was so difficult for me to find the right words and put things in a way that wouldn’t freak her out. I constantly thought “What must she be thinking?” I thought about it from many different perspectives and thought about endless possible outcomes. I could think of a million reasons why I shouldn’t tell her, but only one reason why I should. Luckily the one reason I decided to tell her outweighed all the negatives..
I love this person and I want to share my life with her.
It felt good getting things out. Really good. Like a massive weight the size of China had been lifted. I’d kept it inside for so long and spent many hours dreaming of meeting somebody whom I could share my secret with and now I had finally done it. What an accomplishment!
But what next?
I think I’d failed to realise that simply confiding in my girlfriend was not my ultimate goal, but only the beginning of a journey. Part of me really REALLY hoped that she’d just “get it” and would be into it!… Due to the fact it can so hard telling a loved one a secret of this magnitude I think it’s easy to turn a blind eye to “what comes next”. But what did come next was the journey. When I look back now, I think to myself “So I told my soulmate a secret, big deal”. What we did afterwards was much, much braver. And the most important (and somewhat obvious) thing I’ve come to learn is: I wasn’t looking for somebody to accept me, I was looking for somebody who would help me accept myself.
All that aside, I feel what really helped us was reading this book: “There’s a Baby in my bed” by Rosaline Bent, not just because of how informative and interesting it is on the subject of Infantilism, but because it was something we could do together as a couple. It made it much easier to get over the initial awkwardness and I urge any couple to read this book if you’re in the early stages of making an AB/DL relationship.
2015 was way more productive. It proved to use that a Mummy/little relationship really is a long journey. It’s not something that can be rushed despite me (and many other ABDLs) wanting everything to happen at once! We’ve always taken things in steps. Probably smaller steps that what other couples may, but it’s been what works for us. Slowly but surely we tried more things together. We had more playtime together, We talked more, We got to know who my little is and what he likes, Mummy even started having more input in what clothes I’d get! (One particular memory I have is Mummy telling me she thought there is a ‘fine line’ between cute AB clothing and creepy ‘fancy dress’ AB clothing, which I totally agree with. This gave us the idea to do some shopping together and discuss what we both liked)
The year passed and things have now become much more natural to us both. I admit that somethings things have went a little too slowly and some things have been a little too rushed, but those have just been lessons learned which helped us along the way. The most important thing which we always keep in mind is that we’re together on this journey no matter what pace we go. Our adult/adult relationship is the centre of it all and that will always take priority.
We definitely still have a way to go, sometimes I wish we were further along, but one thing I do from time to time is look back to where we were 2 years ago.
So the second year of Mummy and Peter Rabbits Journey is over. Now it’s on to year 3! I’m quite looking forward to what it has in store for us. Especially seeing as Mummy seem’s to have discovered her own little!
Happy New Year!
Little Peter Rabbit x