Work has been busy lately (as I’ve already moaned about in a previous post) and the time I’ve had off has been spent at home either cleaning up and preparing tea for Mummy coming home, or laying on the sofa thinking about pizza.
This means I’ve had a bit of extra dosh on my hands, so I’ve treated myself to a lot of nice things recently. Such as some ABU space diapers, an awesome onesie from “Snaps4u” and a few other bits (including some grown-up toys and christmas presents). But I’ve been overly aware of how many things I’ve bought for my Little recently, almost to the point where I was feeling slightly insecure about what my girlfriend might think of me buying all this “Baby Stuff”. The amount of nappies has almost tripled from what I’d normally have, my Little’s wardrobe is starting to grow, and my desire for more toys and teddies is only getting bigger.
I do have interests in things other than AB/DL which I spend money on (obviously) such as music, drawing, gigs etc. I collect albums and tend to spend a fair bit of money on vinyl records. I also treat myself to musical equipment from time to time, and generally buy something random that I decide I want. Sometimes I also worry about what she thinks of my general attitude towards my money/spending.
I’m pretty frivolous with money when I’m feeling frisky and I’d say that out of everything I spend money on, my record collection and my Little things are the two luxuries that currently get the most attention from my wallet… I’ve always spent lots of money on records. In past relationships I’ve gotten shouted at and moaned at for wasting my money on ‘crap’ to the point where I’ve even felt a bit ashamed as I walked through the door with a square shaped bag containing over £100s worth of vinyl. I remember one time I even jogged home from town so I’d beat my ex home from work so I could slot some records onto the shelf which I’d bought on my lunch hour (Talk to any record collector and I bet they’ll have a similar story). I think past experiences like that have rubbed off on me a bit which has made insecure about spending. Please don’t get me wrong though, Mummy is not like that in any way, she even finds my interest in things quite cool and always tells me “treat yourself, you deserve it!”. She’s a record collectors dream girlfriend…
But sometimes I find myself questioning what she thinks when I tell her I’ve spent another £40 on an item of AB/DL clothing, or purchased yet another case of expensive nappies. I always wonder if she fears I’m starting to go overboard or let my interests ‘take over’ my wallet (and the space in our bedroom). I know this probably isn’t the case, we’ve talked about it before and she’s always honest about how she feels. But sometimes my insecurities get the better of me. Its like I want to say “No, what do you REALLY think of all of this? And don’t hold back” and I expect her to reply with “Ok, honestly, I think its weird, you spend too much money on it and I worry that one day you’ll turn the house into one big nursery”. I know that may sound a little insane, I mean who actually craves rejection?
But the thing is I suppose it’s not really anything to do with the fact that it’s all “AB/DL” related stuff, the same goes for my records… Somedays when I spend £40 on records, I fear she’ll say “There’s nowhere to put all of your records and I worry you’re gonna turn the house into a big record shop someday”
I think an honest reason that I get so insecure is because I feel that there may be an element of truth to the notion that I might…kinda… sorta… spend slightly more than an average amount of money on stuff.
I just…can’t…help it!!!
Every record collector or music fanatic gets that awesome feeling when they get home with a new album, slide it out if the sleeve and be the first person to drop the needle onto the vinyl. They then spend the next 45 minutes or so chilling out to something they love, something they’ve never heard before or just something that has an awesome cover. This is just the same as an AB/DL who loves that feeling of waking up knowing that today is the day that the postman is going to deliver a big package, and in that package is a case of Abena M4 nappies, or maybe a new sleeper or NUK pacifier. Whatever it is, they’ll going to spend the next few hours feeling completely safe, secure and happy. So when I think of it like this then whats money compared to feeling so good?
Mummy is very good with money, whereas I’m very frivolous. I can be an idiot with money…and I mean a total bonehead. I remember the days when I got paid weekly. I’d get paid Friday and it would be gone by the following Monday… and come rent day I’d be all “erm…. oh jeez”. Hey, I just like treating myself OK?!
I’m much better now though, thanks to being in a committed relationship. We’ve started saving for our future together (which is what I feel I’m most financially committed to), I actually go food shopping now (instead of living on pizza, beer and gherkins straight from the jar like the bachelor I once was*), and I always have money in the bank “just incase”. But having said that, I sometimes can’t help but get that insecure feeling when I see how much money goes on records, nappies & onesies.
I worry that my girlfriend may eventually start to think that my interests are taking over and becoming unhealthy. After all, record collections don’t tend to get smaller, they get bigger, not unlike a lego collection.
So when does it get to the point where it becomes a too much?, or a cause for concern?
When it affects you financially? When it prevents you functioning in the adult world? Sure, but..
I’ve met people whose record collections fill an entire room.
Whereas I’ve also seen photos of rooms converted into nurseries.
and I’ve no doubt that these are both examples of financially stable people who live normal healthy lives (how else would they afford it?). But would you say these images are too much? I personally think that too much would only be when it starts to bother somebody else (E.G a girlfriend or boyfriend). I’ve never thought to ask my girlfriend what would be too much for her though.. probably ’cause we haven’t got to that point yet. But I’d be interested to know..
I must admit that I’d absolutely love to have a nursery like the one above though. It would be a dream come true! but I’m dating somebody who may not necessarily want that in the house (who could blame her?), and I wouldn’t want my personal desires to get in the way of our desires as a couple. After all, it’s *our* house, not *my* house. I already have a lot of random nicknacks which I’ve accumulated over the years which I can’t bare to part with, and sometimes I think Mummy would like me to have a serious clean out of all my random junk**. I guess I’d be cool with that, after all I probably do possess a lot of stuff which I don’t really need.. But I’d hate to think that one say she might say “Don’t you think you have too many baby things?” or “Don’t you think your record collection is complete?”. Who knows if that day will come. If it does it’ll probably be a fair bit off as I really don’t possess that much baby stuff and only a few shelves of records…. Just thinking out loud really..
So if you’re an AB/DL or a partner/parent/etc of one, what would be too much for you? Whats your opinion on the matter?
*Not entirely true, I still do that when Mummy is away..
**Don’t forget this is my own blog where I express my personal feelings & opinions etc, not my girlfriends. I try to keep things broad to other people find it easier to relate to..
Bye for now! x
Here’s a list of appropriate songs I listened to for inspiration while writing this post:
Paul Simon – Still Crazy After All These Years
ABBA – Money Money Money
The Beach Boys – When I Grow Up (to be a man)
The Beach Boys – In My Room
Barrett Strong – Money (Thats what I want)
Notorious B.I.G – Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems