In my last post I wrote about the fact that that we haven’t had much little time recently. That’s not to say that things have been stale in other departments, including sexually. Our sex life definitely hasn’t been damaged after all of the changes and stresses that are currently taking place, which we’re both pretty thankful for. Quite the contrary, it’s actually taken an intriguing turn which is what I want to write about today. But first a little back story…
Disclaimer: If you’re somebody who doesn’t experience any sort of fulfilment or sexual gratification from AB/DL themes, then this is probably going to sound a little… unusual.
I’ve always fantasised about the idea of being forced back into nappies by a strong woman and being blackmailed into acting like a baby at the risk of being publicly “outed”. As a teenager I would dream of my girlfriend tricking me into wearing a diapers “for fun” and then taking photos of me and threatening to show them to everybody unless I succumb to her desires of seeing me dress & act like her baby boy. I’d beg, plead and offer to do anything else, but no bargain would be good enough and I’d be totally forced back into babyhood. The toilet was out of bounds, I’d only be allowed to speak in baby talk, eat baby food from a highchair and do everything I’m told or else she wouldn’t be afraid to take me into town and change my wet nappy in public.
The things that people fantasise about eh?
(both images found online)
After looking online, this doesn’t sound like such an extreme scenario compared to some of the things I’ve seen/read… But still, weirdly enough I don’t think my current girlfriend shares these fantasies (would you believe it?!), and to be fair, who could blame her? It’s true that some people are lucky enough to find a partner whose sexual tastes match their own 100% and everything is perfect and sex is amazing all of the time. But I believe a large percent of relationships require more work and compromise in order to reach a point where both parties are completely content with all aspects of the relationship… After all, what’s so fun about a relationship where everything is perfect and no changes are needed? (no pun intended). Also, how often is it that two people meet randomly and both happen to fantasise about one forcing the other into diapers? I think that’s pretty rare. Good on you if you’re in that situation though 😉 haha!
I’ve always found it difficult to have fantasies like these and be in a relationship. Yeah, it’s easy enough to say “you shouldn’t be ashamed”, “be proud of who you are” and “there’s always something weirder out there”. Some people find it easy to be open and proud, but many of us are ashamed of the things we like and don’t find it so easy to be that open with a partner. It’s hard accepting it, but can be even harder keeping these fantasies to ourselves. To be perfectly honest – I’m dreading my girlfriend even reading this post. I know she doesn’t care, But I kind of do. Sometimes I like to think it’s just something that a quick private orgasm will fix so I can then go back to forgetting about it. But I suppose that’s just my own way of “sweeping it under the carpet”.
I remember a few months after having told my girlfriend about my little side, during a conversation about sex, I told her that I wasn’t only into age-play in a non sexual way but could also be quite turned on by it too. The conversation wasn’t a very deep one, we tend to talk about sex fairly regularly and I think I’d just casually mentioned it without any hopes or desire that her response would be “What a coincidence! I’m so into that!”, “Thats so sexy” or “Lets get those big boy clothes off and get you over my knee so I can teach you a lesson”….Ok, there may have been a glimmer of hope that she’d say that last one. Needless to say there was no follow up questions and no talks of trying it out. To be honest this didn’t really bother me because at that time we were still in the early stages of something much bigger (Again, no pun intended) which was our Adult/Little relationship. We were both still trying to make sense of it all, so I’d imagine that trying to incorporate elements of it into sex would have only complicated things further.
Anyway, I don’t know exactly what she thought of this, but even though she’s a very open minded person I could tell she wasn’t so interested in the idea. Perhaps because the concept of nappies/diapers, baby talk, punishment etc seems quite “wrong” to an outsider and perhaps even a bit perverted?. Or maybe because the AB/DL world is pretty “unknown” to her if you take me out of the equation… Aside from me telling her about myself, I don’t think she’s ever had an active interest in going out and googling the phrases AB/DL, Age-Play or even Paraphilic Infantilism haha. And without a specific reason to do so, who would?
In my opinion, I tried to think about it more reasonably and realistically which was quite simply that it probably didn’t turn her on sexually. So if I wasn’t desperate to push the idea, then why would/should she?… I mean just because it turns me on, doesn’t mean she’s obliged to get hot & bothered at the thought dressing and treating me as a big baby, right?
So anyway, since coming out to her, we’ve focused mainly on the non sexual side, because that’s the most important thing to me/us, its a huge part of who I am and I believe that my life would have turned out very differently had I not been into this. So it only seems right and fair that we took things one step at a time so it didn’t get too overwhelming. I unconsciously made the decision that my sexual interests relating to age-play would come second over dealing with incorporating a parent/child dynamic into our adult/adult relationship. Satisfying us both sexually has always been at the top of the agenda too though.. Obviously I believe that good sex is a very important thing to try and achieve in a relationship and its crucial that both partners are satisfied. However, we’ve been through a lot over the last 18 months and looking back, I didn’t want ABDL stuff to dominate all parts of the relationship at once. I still really loved our sex life the way it was and didn’t want to risk that.
Having said all this, at times we have experimented with age-play in a sexual realm. We gradually starting incorporating spankings and punishments into sex play. We’ve tried switching where she would be a naughty girl who needs to be treated as such. She owns things like pink frilly knickers and school dresses etc which we love using from time to time.
(A similar dress to the one that she owns)
A typical role-play would involve me punishing her for acting like a child, putting her over my knee and making her count the spanks until her bottom is red raw! But one time during sex I instructed her to call me “Daddy” and thats when it got a little bit too real for her. She found this a bit awkward and probably rather incestuous, which as a lot of Littles/Subs/Etc know isn’t really the case (Check out this relevant post by Leakey Diaper Slut, also check out the rest of her super blog!). There were other relevant factors which contributed to her not wanting to call me “Daddy” at the time which I was unaware of, but never the less I tried to refrain from making sex seem too ‘incestuous’ after that.
Recently however, I’ve been quite surprised (and incredibly turned on) by the fact that my girlfriend has been using more and more “baby talk” for want of a better phrase. Its been unprovoked by myself that she’s started using phrases like “There’s a good boy”, “You’re making Mummy very happy” and “You’ve been such a good baby boy”. Even the tone of her voice has been very Mummy like! I’ve been punished for being naughty, praised for being a good and I find myself getting more and more turned on the more often it happens!
This makes me think of the phrase “Good things come to those who wait”. I’m definitely not saying that if you want something to improve then you should just keep quiet and wait for it to happen. Relationships are always kept strong by being open, honest and communicative. I’m also not saying that people can read your mind. I’m just saying that this seemed to work in my favour because I was patient and didn’t try to push everything at once. By being honest and sensitive towards my partners feelings as well as my own, she eventually just gravitated towards experimenting with the sexual side of our adult/little relationship. If I’m sounding manipulative here then I sincerely don’t mean to do so, I just mean that we’ve both been quite lucky that we’ve managed to meet each other at a happy medium which may even progress in the future..
I’ve spoken to my girlfriend about this and she says that her new interest in the “Baby talk” is something that’s just happened naturally and has become a bit of a turn on for her. It was nice to hear this and it just goes to show that things can change, develop and surprise. It’s extra nice because I don’t feel that she’s doing something she’s really not into for the sake of satisfying me. I don’t like that idea..
I think its a common thing in us adult babies to want to have everything at once (just like a child would funnily enough) which ends up making us quite selfish when it comes to our needs. When I first realised that my partner was willing to accept this part of me and be prepared to experiment, I wanted to rush it all and experience everything I’d always fantasised about as soon as possible. I was so happy that somebody was finally going to accept me, that I lost sight of how difficult it was going to be for my partner. Therefore, I ran the risk of putting too much on her shoulders. Rushing things definitely isn’t the way and I feel it will only hinder things in the long run.
Who knows, maybe in the future we’ll introduce diapers into the bedroom. I can dream can’t I?