Hello, I’m Peter Rabbit’s mummy. There’s a sentence I never thought I’d say!
I must confess that prior to meeting my partner (the grown up peter) I didn’t think I had a maternal bone in my body. Being around babies and children made me feel awkward, and I certainly never imagined myself changing a nappy, bathing and feeding a little one of my own.
When my partner told me about his little side, I didn’t really know what it would mean for our relationship, or quite how important it is to him.
For a long while we struggled with a lot of things. For example, I was worried about how our new roles might affect our adult relationship, especially our sex life. Would I still see him as my equal? Would I stop fancying him? I also worried that I would start to feel like an overworked mum, juggling a full time busy job and now a small child of 2.
This wasn’t what I’d signed up for when I agreed to a second date!
It certainly hasn’t been an easy ride, and we’ve had our share of problems. There have been times when I have just hoped that his urges would go away, and times when I have felt completely ridiculous and out of my depth. There have been times when I’ve felt that the only way we can maintain our adult relationship is by him ‘doing his baby stuff’ when I’m out of the house.
We kept talking about it. We still talk about it a lot. Most times Peter Rabbit comes out to play we’ll talk about it afterwards. Was I comfortable changing him? Did he like it when mummy sang him a song? Did I get anything out of it?
I started to realise just how much shame my partner felt about his little side, and finally understood that this wasn’t something he can switch on and off. It wasn’t a preference or something he just decided to be into.
I fell in love with my partner quickly, and I have learned to love Peter Rabbit over time. I’ve started to feel genuine love for this little dude who gives me eskimo kisses and loves nothing more than cuddling up to me. Peter Rabbit smells different somehow, sweeter and warmer.
I’ve started to find myself looking at books in shops and thinking ‘Peter Rabbit would love this story- he loves animals’, and planning elaborate outfits I could make him just because he would look so cute in them.
I get so much from seeing how relaxed he feels when he is little. In those moments all he needs to feel good is to be close to his mummy. He doesn’t feel anxious or stressed or sad. And in our mummy baby time, I stop worrying about work, feeling anxious about food or what I’m doing with my life. My prime purpose is to look after Peter Rabbit, keep him fed and clean and warm. If he’s happy I’m happy.
I’m sure we’ll stumble again somewhere along our adult-baby journey, but right now I feel really good about how far we’ve come and look forward to our next play date!
One very proud mummy xxx