This blog is cut into two parts because I started writing Part 1 and then lost it all (WordPress!!!!) I then started writing again but I’d forgotten everything I wrote so I condensed it and then wrote Part 2 instead… Just thought I’d throw that out there..
We all have limits. It would be interesting to know if taking care of an Adult Baby was one of Mummy’s limits before we met. Giving how she reacted when I first told her, I’d say it never even entered her head… But on a whole, the “AB/DL” scene doesn’t seem to have ever bothered her. But I did come to learn about some specific limits/ground rules after our first few playdates (We often try to discuss things we like/dislike to better the experience for both of us).
Certain objects like bottles and dummies/pacifiers can freak people out, and for other people it may be something like speaking in baby talk that tests their limits. On the other hand, for some Little’s, the experience might not be fulfilling without a bottle a pacifier so its important to find a good balance.. Give and take is definitely healthy in a relationship and it’s important not to be selfish because it proves both person’s wants/needs are equally important.
A personal example: One of my girlfriend’s limits is if I were to wet. She certainly doesn’t like changing a wet nappy (diaper), so I don’t do it when we’re together. Yeah that sucks for me, and it would suck for most Littles I think. But this isn’t just about me, its about what works for us in our relationship. Maybe one day it’ll change, but for now I’m thankful for what we currently have. There are definitely things I’d enjoy which I’ve yet to mention to my Mummy because I think would test her limits. But it’s been crucial for us to take things slowly. Perhaps one day we’ll talk more about them..but if not, I’m sure wouldn’t kill me.
I was talking to a friend the other day over drinks and the conversation got onto the topic of Sex. It was a pretty general conversation at first, but we moved onto the subject of “limits” and things we would/wouldn’t do with a partner.
She said her sexual limits were “Sh*t, P*ss and/or anything to do with Adult Babies”. I laughed because I love how blunt that sentence was. Given my recent history and experiences, I tried to challenge my friend by asking…
“Would you not indulge in any of those things for somebody even if you were in love with them?”
“Well, me too if I’m honest” I said “…but I don’t think that would stop me trying it if the person I loved was into it. I bet you would at least give it a go”
“No way! What about if they liked wearing nappies and acting like a baby?!”
(This conversation getting in to dangerous territory, I thought)
“Wouldn’t you do that if you were in love?”
“No. I’d sooner break up with them than treat a fully grown man like a baby”
“I’m sure if you loved them you’d think differently” I said.
She asked me about mine but I wasn’t sure, I said I’d try anything once within reason but that it was probably something along the lines of cock & ball torture.. I went on to say that I would definitely try to push my limits if I knew it would satisfy my girlfriend (Between me and you, I’m very happy she’s not into cock & ball torture though)
We laughed it off and moved on.
Sure, the conversation was pretty light hearted and most of the comments I’m sure were throw away.. This sort of chat doesn’t represent a persons entire belief system. I know deep down my friend is an open minded and a generally accepting person (we were talking about sex after all and not about our every day attitude towards others)… But that got me thinking about how each of my friends would react if they knew about this side of me. I know that many people say “A true friends will accept and stick by you no matter what” which may be true to some extent.. but I have some friends who I believe just don’t have that side to their personality and wouldn’t want to know something like this about their friend. Yes I have friends who I’m sure I would stick by no matter what, it doesn’t mean they would do the same for me as we have different beliefs and things we can/can’t handle. I don’t think that has to mean the friendship isn’t equal..
“It appears to become problematic when situations place an emphasis for disclosure…i.e. getting engaged or getting married. The infantilized individual grapples for a decision because fears of ashamedness, rejection, abandonment and exploitation are commonly associated with past developmental struggles in childhood. It brings to surface a terrifying risk that the new partner or family member will misunderstand and take the position it is a bizarre perverted derangement and action to crush the behavior is paramount.” – Kathi Stringer
This has always been accurate concerning me and I can’t ever see myself confiding in anybody else other than my girlfriend about this. Firstly, because I don’t really see the benefit in it, but secondly because I don’t think any of my friends are ready to hear this, nor would they want to. I think that would be the limit to their friendship… Or perhaps being this open with a friend is my limit…
What are some of your limits?
FYI: My cheesy soundtrack to this post is:
Meat Loaf – I would do anything for Love,
Feist – Limit to your Love,
The Jackson Five – I’ll be there.