Managing regression // Feeling little at inappropriate times.

Feeling Little and wanting to regress at random, inappropriate or awkward times is a topic thats remained fairly untouched by my girlfriend and me. It’s just a hump in the road which we haven’t really came to yet (though I suspect we will). I often feel like regressing at awkward times, but I’ve managed to just ignore it or push it to the back of my head. This either makes things easier for my girlfriend, or just more convenient for the both of us. I imagine that this aspect of regression can be one of the more difficult to understand for the partner of a Little (especially if they, like my partner, are fairly new to the Little world). Sometimes regression is not a conscious decision or choice… Regression just happens to me!

But it’s true that I fairly often feel Little just at the wrong time! i.e when I’m in an adult situation and/or in a public place where I’m expected and required to think and act accordingly. For instance, we may be in a clothes shop together having an adult conversation and I’ll see an item of clothing that has a babyish quality to it, such as a pair of dungarees or a horizontally striped t-shirt. Something as simple as this could spark that regressive side of me and I’ll drift off and fantasise about mummy loudly saying to me “Aww Peter Rabbit, you’d look so adorable in these dungarees! and they’d hide your nappy so well that you don’t need to be afraid about anybody seeing it”. Or we may be out having drinks somewhere and I’ll need to use the bathroom and for no reason at all, I’ll fantasise about uncontrollably wetting myself, which would be followed by mummy exclaiming “Oh sweety! I knew I shouldn’t have let you wear your big boy underpants, lets get you to the toilet and cleaned up into a nice dry nappy, those trousers will have to go in the bin too!”.

I cant help it, alright? Those slightly odd (OK, very odd!) situations just pop into my head every now and again (Now and again? try all the time!) when we’re out in public situations. The notion of being regularly reminded that deep down I am just mummy’s little boy and need to be kept a close eye on is simply a warm and somewhat thrilling feeling for me.

Though it makes for a very nice fantasy every now and again, these can actually be quite confusing and somewhat frustrating feelings to be confronted with. Its been quite difficult for my partner and me when it comes to choosing an appropriate time to have our “special time” together. For her it’s more convenient and easier if she knows ahead of time when we’ll be having some regression time. Whereas for me, I much prefer little time just when I’m feeling Little! Which can be an inconvenience to the adult side of our relationship. After all, my girlfriend can’t exactly just say “Whenever you feel little, I’ll drop everything I’m doing along with my view/perceptions of you as an adult and I’ll take care of you”. It may work that way for many Parent/Little relationships (good for you!). But not for us.. It’s not the way we want it to be either (I secretly do haha)

But…

Although I am fully able to control my actions and behaviours as an adult *and* as a Little, I cannot however control when and what makes me actually *feel* little. Which kinda sucks at times! Because when I feel little at a bad time, it becomes a bit of a battle between the adult and the child over who gets their own way. Sometimes it really does feel like I have a split personality! I think it can be confusing and frustrating for my girlfriend too… because sometimes my inner child does get his own way (probably more likely if its been a while since I’ve had some regression time) and I let him out.. slightly out of hope that she’ll “be into it”. But I do also worry that instead she thinks “Hang on, we haven’t planned this, so why’s he all of a sudden acting so babyish when just a minute go we were discussing the living room decor? Might I add that we’re also right in the middle of Morrisons! Now is not the time!”.

Its true that it’s not fair for us to just drop everything and run home so I can be cooed over. Its a two sided street.

But all it can take for me is simply glancing over at her when she’s wearing one of her vintage dresses that she tends to wear and I’ll immediately picture us in this situation:c7f39fc63c6c8c0a814db691538c7c43

The image then just sticks with me and for the next few hours I’ll just be thinking about having some little time with mummy. The annoying thing is sometime’s I don’t even *really want* little time because I know I’d rather be doing what my adult self is doing… What’s up with that?

To be honest I don’t really know how to tackle this issue! Mainly because its not *that* much of an issue at present.. But I can predict it becoming an issue at some point. Sadly I don’t really have the answer right now….Perhaps the need for full regression would go away if just a little bit of attention was given to my inner child while we’re out and about? Or perhaps I should just learn to control that side of me a bit better? Do other Little’s have trouble managing their regression?  

Is it always unfair of me to want to regress in public? Is this always an inappropriate time? What’s even fair? I’ll leave it there for now, it’s just my train of thought


I’ll end this post on an up note and list some simple and subtle things that I’d enjoy my girlfriend/mummy to do in public to remind me that deep down I’m still just her Little Boy. Perhaps any other Mummys/Daddys/Carers reading this might find it helpful too :p

Cleaning me up. If she sees I’ve got a bit of dirt or food on my face she’ll take some baby wipes out of her hand bag and tell me to “Stand still while Mummy cleans up your face”. Followed by a thorough face wipe. If she doesn’t have any baby wipes then she’d simply wet a tissue with her tongue. Wether I’m Big or Little, Mummy still wants me to look my best 😀

Holding my hand to cross the road. If we’re about to cross a busy road she’ll tell me to “Hold Mummy’s hand while we cross”. A small gesture, but this lets me know that Mummy is always looking out for Peter Rabbit. Whether we’re inside having Little Time or out in the real world being adults. Gotsta be safe!

 Tying my shoelaces. We’re on a busy street and my girlfriend notices my shoe lace is untied. She stops me and kneels down to tie it for me in front of evvvverybody. Simple, but a great reminder that I’m too young to even attempt to tie my own laces. Embarrassing no?

Random wetness check. No matter where we are or what we’re doing. My girlfriend suddenly says “Come here Peter Rabbit, lets see if you’ve had any accidents”. She then thoroughly checks my crotch and my rear end with her hand for any wetness. All dry? Then I’m rewarded with a nice kiss on the nose. Not that I would dream of having an accident in public mind you… but mummy puts nothing past her little boy so she still likes to check

No wandering off for little Peter Rabbit. We often go for long walks either in the park or somewhere out of our way which is always fun. But if my girlfriend notices I’m wandering off a bit too far then she’d yell “Don’t go too far Peter Rabbit. I have your baby reins in my hand bag so if you run away from mummy then I’ll have to put them on you for everybody to see”. Or even better, she would put my reins on under my coat before we leave the house so she can constantly remind me that If I’m bad, my coat is coming off and she’s taking charge of the reins! That’s me told!

Ooooh I feel Little just reading that last one back to myself! Maybe a trip to myspecialharness is in order? or perhaps adult-baby-shop.eu?

mother and son

Bye for now x

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4 thoughts on “Managing regression // Feeling little at inappropriate times.

  1. Okay, so I don’t know how long you and your girlfriend have been exploring your little side together. Does “new” to it mean a few months? A year? How much do you talk about it outside of “playtime?” Communication is really important for any relationship, but especially one where you’re figuring out what works best for both of you with something a bit different from the norm.

    The great news is that you’ve put thought into this. It seems like you know what you might like to try, and what would be an ideal situation for you. Making a fantasy like that into reality requires communication, and a lot of it. Talk to her about some of the things you’ve written here. Maybe even let her read it.

    However, don’t be upset if she isn’t all in for every detail of your fantasies. See what ways they can be tweaked to make her feel more comfortable. For example, maybe she will carry baby wipes and clean you up in public, but she doesn’t want to refer to herself as “Mommy” where someone might hear. Maybe she will indulge having you wear a harness under your jacket and “threatening” you privately with making you remove it if you’re bad, but she wouldn’t feel comfortable yelling out in public about it. Maybe she’d be okay with patting your bum to check for leaks, but doing a full, obvious check in a crowded supermarket would be too much for her.

    Another thing to do may be talk about how she would feel about less scheduled time when you’re home together. Maybe she would welcome having you crawl over into her lap and snuggle up on the couch for some little time without having to plan in advance. Make it clear that you can (if you can) have just small slices of regression that feel intimate and sweet instead of demanding a lot of work from her.

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    • Hi again! Sorry, my posts don’t tend to give a great deal of context or go into too much detail about our actual discussions which means my posts may be a bit misleading sometimes. We are indeed very open and communicative with eachother about regression (It’s actually thanks to my girlfriend that I now feel much more comfortable with it and am able to talk openly with her, she’s been very good at bringing it out of me). It was actually a mutual idea between us that I start this blog to make our communication even easier than it already is. Every time I write a post we tend to read it back together and talk about it which is nice. I agree that communication is extremely important in relationships, especially when concerning something like this. But sometimes I write just to acknowledge and address my feelings which I sometimes find hard to express/vocalise. even if we may have already discussed it its good to keep a journel… It’ll be good some day to look back at how far we’ve came…
      I remember early on in our relationship I tried to find advice online about ab/dl relationships and how people make it work // how people go about telling a loved one.. I saw a blog dedicated to the difficulties of an ab/dl relationship (the writer of the blog was completely vanilla) and I was quite sad that they never continued with their writing because it was really helpful/inspiring. So I suppose another reason I like writing about this is the off chance that somebody may be able to relate to it and take something from it. That may sound a bit corny but it was nice for me to read about other peoples experiences. The latter part of your comment was accurate too 🙂 After this post we did discuss it more in depth and talk about what we both like/dislike! I think being able to see that its not all about me has been really crucial in making it work!

      Thanks for taking the time to comment! its nice to know that my posts are occasionaly seen and read by somebody haha! I enjoy your blog :). P

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      • I know exactly what you mean. Even though I’m very open and communicate well with my husband most of the time, sometimes it is difficult to vocalize things without writing them down and sorting out my thoughts. I also started my blog because of a suggestion from him, and to have a place to get my thoughts out and organized.

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      • Agreed, being open and honest is one thing, but sometimes it just makes it easier and more coherent if it’s written down! Sometimes I feel I’m more honest with myself if I’ve written it down too. it makes me analyse my feelings a bit more and question whether or not I’m being fair/accurate/selfish/too harsh on myself etc. It can be an effective way of enhancing communication not just between eachother but also with me and myself!

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